Internal Family System & Parts Work Therapy in Vancouver
Understanding IFS & Parts Work
You may have noticed that different parts of you seem to want different things.
One part of you might desperately want to rest, while another tells you that you should be doing more. One part may crave connection, while another pulls away when someone gets too close. You might understand logically that you are safe, yet still find yourself reacting with anxiety, shutting down, people-pleasing, overthinking, or becoming hard on yourself.
This is the foundation of what we explore through IFS and parts work.
A compassionate way of understanding yourself
IFS, or Internal Family Systems (one modality under the umbrella of 'parts work') is a compassionate, trauma-informed approach to therapy and healing that understands our inner world as being made up of different “parts.”
Rather than viewing difficult emotions, behaviours, or reactions as flaws that need to be fixed, parts work invites us to become curious about them.
A part that is anxious may be trying to keep you safe.
A part that people-pleases may be trying to prevent rejection.
A part that stays busy may be protecting you from difficult feelings.
A part that shuts down may have learned that disconnecting was safer than feeling.
Even the parts of you that you struggle with are often trying, in their own way, to help.
Many of these patterns developed earlier in life, particularly when we experienced situations where our needs, emotions, or sense of safety weren't fully supported. This doesn't mean anything is “wrong” with you. It means your system learned ways of coping that made sense at the time.
A very simple look at the IFS model
You don't need to understand the whole model before we begin, but it can be helpful to have a basic map.
Protectors are parts that work to keep you safe and prevent painful experiences or emotions from resurfacing.
Managers try to prevent difficult things from happening in the first place. They may show up as perfectionism, people-pleasing, controlling, overthinking, staying busy, or constantly trying to “do everything right.”
Firefighters react when something feels overwhelming or painful in the moment. They may seek immediate relief through shutting down, withdrawing, distracting, becoming reactive, or other coping strategies.
Exiles are younger, more vulnerable parts of us that carry painful emotions, memories, beliefs, or unmet needs from earlier experiences. They may carry feelings like “I'm not safe,” “I'm too much,” “I'm not worthy,” or “I have to handle everything on my own.”
This is also where inner child work can come in. Your inner child isn't a literal child living inside you. It is a way of connecting with the younger parts of yourself that experienced life at an earlier age and may still carry feelings or needs from that time. Rather than judging those younger parts, we can learn to offer them the understanding, safety, and care they may have needed then.
And then there is Self
In IFS, Self is different from our parts. It is understood as the core of who we are, with its own natural capacity for healing and leadership. The IFS Institute describes Self through the 8 C's:
Calmness • Curiosity • Compassion • Confidence • Courage • Clarity • Creativity • Connectedness
You may already recognize these qualities in moments when you feel most grounded and like yourself. Self-energy allows us to step back from an activated part without judging or rejecting it, and instead become curious about what it is experiencing and what it needs.
The goal is to have more access to Self-energy, so that your protective parts don't have to work so hard or automatically take over.
With greater access to Self, you can begin responding to life from a place that feels more grounded, clear, compassionate, authentic, confident, and connected, rather than automatically reacting from fear, old beliefs, or protective patterns. This creates more space to listen to yourself, make decisions that feel aligned with who you are now, and respond with greater choice.
What can this look like in therapy?
Jane is successful and capable, but she struggles with anxiety and perfectionism. She constantly worries about making mistakes, disappointing people, or not being “good enough.” Even when things are going well, she has a hard time relaxing.
Rather than simply trying to stop Jane's perfectionism, parts work helps her become curious about it.
She might discover a manager part that believes, “If I do everything perfectly, I can prevent people from being disappointed in me.” As she gets to know this part, Jane begins to understand that it developed as a way of keeping her safe and avoiding rejection.
She may also connect with a younger, more vulnerable part that learned early on that being good, successful, or easy to love was important for feeling accepted.
Instead of criticizing herself for being “too anxious” or “too perfectionistic,” Jane can begin relating to these parts with compassion. From a more grounded place of Self, she can reassure the younger part that she is safe now, while helping the perfectionistic part recognize that it doesn't have to work quite so hard.
Over time, Jane may still notice the urge to be perfect, but she has more awareness and choice. She can recognize, “A part of me is afraid I'm going to get this wrong,” rather than automatically believing, “I'm not good enough.”
This is where healing and growth can begin: understanding the pattern, meeting what is underneath it, and creating new ways of responding.
Why explore parts work and inner child healing?
Our present-day struggles often make more sense when we understand where they came from.
IFS, parts work, and inner child healing can help you recognize the deeper needs and experiences underneath patterns that may be causing you distress today. Instead of simply trying to stop a behaviour or push away an emotion, we can work with the underlying wound, belief, or protective response.
Over time, this can help you feel less controlled by old patterns, more connected to yourself, and more able to respond to life from who you are today rather than from what you had to learn to do to survive or belong in the past.
The goal isn't to become a different person. It's to develop a more compassionate relationship with yourself, understand the parts of you that have been working so hard to protect you, and create more freedom to live from your authentic Self.
You don't have to know anything about IFS or parts work before we begin. We will move slowly, and I'll guide you through it as we go.
For now, you can simply begin noticing:
“A part of me feels…”
rather than:
“I am…”
That small shift can be surprisingly powerful.
If you found your way here, welcome.
I'm Candice, a trauma-informed counsellor, healing practitioner, and the founder of Solterra Healing in Vancouver (a virtual holistic healing space).
I work with women and individuals who are ready to understand themselves more deeply, especially when they feel stuck in patterns they can recognize intellectually but can't seem to change.
My approach brings together talk therapy, somatic therapy, IFS and parts work, inner child healing, energy and spiritual healing, hypnotherapy, and more to help you understand not only what you're experiencing, but what may be underneath it.